Stay
by disarranging
Summary: An alternative take on what could have happened between Joey and Lauren in the 27/06/13 episode of EastEnders. One-shot.


**A/n:**** So, this is just my take on what ****_should_**** have happened in last night's episode. I cannot tell you how much I wish this had been real, because last night just about broke my heart. The story picks up when they've just left The Vic. Enjoy!**

Stay

"Joey," I croaked, struggling against my parent's grip. I wanted to stop, turn around, run away, just do _something_, but the pain in my stomach had reached a new high, stopping me from being able to focus on anything else.

I pulled against them again, the movement barely making an impact though. How had I become so weak? So pathetic? So sick?

"Joey," I repeated, more desperately this time, frustration and hurt clear in my voice. Where was he? Why weren't they stopping? Why were they still pulling me away from the only person I wanted?

Breathing against the pain as best I could, I turned sharply in order to try and see Joey. However my vision spun sickeningly as I turned, another cramp almost crippling me as it struck through my body, my legs crumbling like paper beneath me.

"Lauren!" I could hear Joey shouting me but I couldn't focus on it; a piercing ringing in my ears drowning everything out.

Both Mum and Dad staring fussing over me again, trying to pull me back to me feet, but I batted them away feebly, attempting to gain control of my breathing and my vision and my life...

"No," I moaned, kneeling unsteadily as Dad tried to grab hold of my arm again. Was I not making it clear enough or something? I didn't want their help. I didn't want them to touch me. I just wanted Joey. And a drink.

Another pain ripped through my stomach on that last thought; a horrific mix of longing and nausea flooding through my system. Was this what it was going to be like from now on? Was this what my life had come to? Or had I always been like this really? Wanting above all the things that would kill me in the end.

"C'mon, darlin'" Mum cooed, starting to thread her arm through mine until I flinched away from her, falling onto my palms heavily, tears stinging in my eyes as I felt the concrete graze my skin. "I've got your medicine, you're gonna be fine. You're gonna be okay."

"No! Just stop!" I managed to shout properly this time, but it only made me feel weaker. At least it made them let go of me though. I tried to turn my head towards Joey again but the ringing was still so loud in my ears, and I still felt to dizzy and sick that I just couldn't do it.

"Let us help you, sweetheart," Mum said, reaching out to touch me but stopping, her fingers closing hesitantly in mid-air.

I didn't reply to her though, instead putting all my energy into trying to stand up, pushing up off the ground on my injured hands as best I could. By the time I'd put some weight on my ankles though, the height difference made my head spin again, and I dropped back down in frustration, whimpering as I did so.

"C'mon, Lauren, don't be a martyr, let us get you back to bed," Dad said, placing his hand on my shoulder, only for me to shrug him off straight away.

"I just w-want..." The pain in my stomach took my breath away for a moment, causing me to inhale sharply, my words fading away.

"What, darlin'?" Mum coaxed, brushing her hand across my hair. I didn't have the energy to. "What do you want?"

"I just want Joey," I breathed finally, hunching over in pain as my stomach cramped yet again, wrapping my arm tightly around my stomach.

I heard Mum sigh beside me and Dad mumble something that it's probably a good thing I didn't hear. I couldn't have said anything even if I had done though; the pain making me so nauseous now that I was worried if I opened my mouth I would be sick.

"Let me get to her, Tanya," Joey said from behind me. Mum hesitated for a moment before moving reluctantly, her presence being replaced by Joey's as he crouched down next to me.

"C'mon, babe, you're alright," he murmured to me, his hand rubbing up and down my back comfortingly.

"It hurts, Joey," I whispered, pulling my bottom lip between my teeth to stop myself from crying.

"I know it does, Lo." His lips brushed against the side of my forehead as he spoke, and just for second the movement distracted me from how much pain I was in. What did this mean? I thought he was with Lucy now? I thought he didn't care, even if every now and then he claims he does.

"Ow," I whimpered, leaning sideways into his body as the pain seemed to, if possible, get even worse.

"Sh, sh, sh," Joey urged, bringing his arm solidly round my back, his other hand reaching for mine, brushing the dirt away from the cuts on it with his thumb before entwining his fingers with mine. "It's alright, baby."

"She needs to take her meds, Joey," Mum said from somewhere beside us. I didn't bother to look up; I didn't want to see what was bound to be a disappointed look on her face. I knew she was worried about me, I really did. But all I saw was that concern be outweighed by disappointment in her liability of a daughter.

"Will you let me take you home?" Joey asked, his voice quiet enough that only I could hear it.

Breathing in as deeply as I could, I nodded, unwrapping my right arm from around my body and, keeping my left hand clenched in his, I gripped Joey's forearm tightly, starting to try and pull myself up.

"Ahh," I cried as I reached my full height. Apparently stretching out was not what my body wanted.

"C'mere," Joey murmured, moving to bring his arm under my knees in order to pick me up.

"No, I can walk," I insisted, although I wasn't doing a very good job of backing up my argument, wobbling unsteadily like some sort of new-born deer.

"Jesus, Lauren," Dad muttered from behind me. "You either want help or you don't."

"I want you to leave me alone," I snapped, still grasping onto Joey like my life depended on it.

Joey sighed, rubbing my back again and moving closer to me, the warmth from his body radiating onto mine, only just acknowledging how cold I was, despite the warm weather.

"Just let me carry you, babe," he said, his lips at my ear. "I know you want to be strong, but making yourself hurt just to prove it isn't helping anyone, babe."

I didn't know why I was being awkward, to be honest. Underneath, I wanted nothing more than for Joey to pick me up and carry me back home and never, ever leave me. But he wasn't mine anymore. And I wasn't his. And every time he called me 'babe' it punched another hole in my already battered heart because I knew it was only because he cared in this moment, not because he loved me.

But glutton for punishment as I was, and unable to stop myself from enjoying, despite the specifics, the feel of him looking after me, his arms around me, his lips against my skin, I eventually conceded, allowing him to effortlessly lift me into his arms.

Every now and then as we walked I felt him press another kiss to the top of my head, and each time it sent my heart aflutter, and my brain into a confused and tired overdrive, to the point where I wondered if I was just imagining things.

I could hear Mum and Dad bickering, as per usual, and, wanting to block them out, I snuggled as close as I could into Joey, pressing my face into the crook of his neck and feeling his arms tighten infinitesimally around me.

What did it matter if it was all just in my head that he cared? I was already in hell, may as well take some comfort while I can, even if it will only hurt me more in the end, when he leaves and goes running back to Lucy or whatever other girls he's replaced me with.

Without really realising I let them close, I felt my eyelids flitter open as Joey lowered me downwards onto the sofa. I had clearly been that tired I'd drifted off even in the short trip across the Square, which was funny considering I hadn't been able to sleep properly at all for the last few days.

And yet five minutes in Joey's arms, five minutes of feeling safe and loved, my brain had finally succumbed to the need for sleep.

"I can take it from here now, Joey," Mum said, leaving little room for argument in her tone as she handed me a glass of water and one of my tablets. Once I had swallowed it, Joey helped me lie down, crouching next to the couch as he pulled the blanket Mum had set out for me before over my shaking body.

"I want you to stay," I garbled to Joey, forcing my eyes to remain open whilst reaching for and clenching his fingers with mine as tightly as I could. I wanted, no, needed, him here.

"Let him stay, Tan," Dad said, clearly trying to either appease me as much as he could, or just rile Mum up even more. I mentally grimaced, knowing it was more than likely the latter of the two. "What harm can it do?"

"He's the reason she was upset in the first place!" Mum argued, waving her arms dramatically in front of her.

"Yeah, it had _nothing_ whatsoever to do with you two taking lumps out of each other every five seconds, did it?" Joey retorted, his nostrils flaring angrily. When he looked back at me though, squeezing my fingers with his, I noticed a sad look in his eyes. I didn't dare try and work out what it meant.

"It's nothing to do with you, Joey," Dad quipped in irritation.

"Don't start on him," Mum said, raising her voice yet again. "At least he's actually done something to help."

"What are you trying to say? She's my daughter too, Tanya," Dad shouted, and I actually had to close my eyes from how loud his voice was now, the loudness hurting my head. I just wanted to sleep. And for Joey to stay. And for me not to be in pain anymore. And to have a drink. And to never have a drink again. And just for everything to be okay again.

"We don't need you, Max," Mum spat. "I can look after Lauren, you can go back to your wife and-"

"SHUT UP!" I screamed, immediately regretting the decision though as it strained my stomach, causing me to curl into a ball on the sofa, gripping Joey's hands so tightly it was hurting _me_.

"Right, that's it," Joey said, commanding finality in his tone. "Get out, the pair of you. Can you not _see_ what it's doing to her?"

"You can't tell me to get out of my own house," Dad growled angrily.

"Please just shut up and go away," I moaned as forcefully as I could.

"It's alright, darlin', your Dad was just leaving," Mum said, making an effort to calm her tone but failing with the bitterness in it.

Exchanging a few more argumentative quips, they eventually left the room, the living room door being closed softly by Mum behind them.

Shifting slightly on the sofa, I peeled my eyes open, my eyes searching for Joey's and finding them watching me intently.

"I meant what I said," I mumbled, fighting against the tiredness. "I don't want you to go."

"I'm not going anywhere, babe," he replied, sounding a lot more emotional than I was expecting. "I'm not leaving you, not anymore."

"What does that mean?" I whispered, scared of the answer and yet unable to stop myself from hoping.

I felt Joey work one of his hands out of my grasp, my breath hitching as he reached up and pushed a strand of hair slowly behind my ear, the way I had missed him doing for so long now. I didn't know if my heart could take how it made me feel.

"It means I'm sorry," he said eventually, his voice barely audible. I held his gaze, it not escaping my notice that it was the first time in a long time he had looked at me _properly_, all those guards he put up finally down. He looked as vulnerable as I felt.

"I'm sorry too," I whispered, reaching out and cupping his handsome face gently, stroking my fingers over his cheek. He leaned into my touch and I felt my heart rate pick up again. I had no idea what was going on here between us, but, for now, I wasn't going to question it. "Lay down with me? Please?"

I watched as a slight hint of hesitation crossed his features before he shook it off, nodding before he stood up, kicking off his shoes. I shuffled backwards against the back of the sofa to make room for him, immediately snuggling into him as he settled down beside me.

"Get some sleep, Lo," he murmured, pulling me against him gently, his arms secure around me. I nuzzled my face against his chest, more than happy to substitute a soft pillow for solid muscle, the sound of his rhythmic heartbeat fast lulling me to sleep.

"Joey?" I asked, fatigue making it difficult for me to think properly, never mind speak.

"Yeah?" he replied, his voice reverberating against my ear.

"Tell me everything's gonna be okay," I said, not even bothering to feel ashamed about how scared I sounded.

"It's gonna be okay, Lo. I promise," he vowed, his hands rubbing my back gently, his lips ghosting over my forehead.

There was lot that needed to be said between us, a lot of issues we both needed to get over, a lot of time needed to heal the wounds we both had. But for now, I was happy enough, happier than I'd been in a long time, to just have him here, with me, staying.

**A/n:**** I don't do one-shot's very often, but this idea wouldn't leave me alone. Hope you liked it as much as I do. x**

**ps. The next chapter of****_ Falling_**** should be up this weekend. It would've been up today but this one-shot was hogging all my attention. Please don't be too mad. ;)**


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